I am Johnny Fedora

This is a quick update, no new old ladies, but some good pictures from my field trip to Kyoto. First we went to the Byoudouin, or Phoenix Hall (named for the golden phoenixes that once adorned the top), a famous Shingon Sect Buddhist temple. We then went to Touji, another Shingon temple complex. I managed to get some decent shots of the art, but maybe 75% of the pictures didn't turn out. Some of the pictures might have been taken in restricted areas, but I don't know any better, I'm a foreigner...

I recommend clicking the slide show button. It makes the pictures bigger. Just be sure to navigate with the arrow keys or else the pictures change every 3 seconds.

Also: Yakisoba, okonomiyaki, and takoyaki in one meal. Bliss.

And: Mildly spicy noodle soup, bamboo shoots, salmon onigiri (rice balls with filling), pickle onigiri, seaweed salad with ponzu shoyu, and cake.

Steel Dragon 2000 and Viking Breakfast

My second trip of the break was to Mie Prefecture to see Nagashima Spaland. It's not as brothelly as it sounds, though. It's an amusement park. It's home to 10 roller coasters, including Steel Dragon 2000, the longest roller coaster in the world, and White Cyclone, the largest wooden coaster in Asia. I went with Japanese friends, so it was very amusing. Japanese girls yelling "I'm going to to die" is somehow adorable. Maybe your very first rollercoaster shouldn't be the worlds longest... Just a thought. Pictures of Adventure Monday too.

Also: Japanese amusement parks serve fried noodles, octopus dumplings, and curry rice. They still have 6 dollar churros, though.

And: Japanese hotel viking breakfast is awesome. 5 Pumpernickel rolls, 3 bowls of rice, 2 packages of seaweed, natto, 12 sausage patties, egg salad, and a stomach ache.

And: Texas toast with a fried egg, a salad made from homegrown white radish and carrots, corn soup with croutons, and a glass of milk.

And: Yakisoba (think Chow Mein) wrapped in a thin omelet with sweet soy sauce and egg rolls filled with spicy rice.

And: Soy sauce ramen and oyakodon (rice topped with chicken, scrambled egg, and onion).

And: Game over. Over wins.

Camel Rides and Pear Museums.

New updates. This week was spring break and I went on a couple of trips during my free time. The first destination was Tottori city in Tottori prefecture. We rode camels in the morning and climbed a mountain in the afternoon. At the top were some castle ruins and Japanese Keanu Reeves. The next day was a total bust. Our intended destination took 3 hours to reach, so we decided to change the plans. We first stopped at the pear museum (the only one in Japan), which turned out to be closed. Then we went to a see a temple on the side of a cliff, a national treasure, which turned out to be closed. Then we wanted to go to a hot spring, but it turned out to be right next to the highway and full of naked dudes and radon. The Japanese style hotel was awesome though. Amazing Japanese breakfast. Pictures.

Also: 7 for 33.

And: Several types of sashimi, rice, boiled tofu, lotus root salad with citrus, shoyumame (basically big edamame, shelled, roasted, and soaked in sweet sauce), mirin boshi (sweet pomfret jerky lightly fried with sesame seeds), and sake.

And: Spicy ramen with egg and pork belly topping, a fried rice ball with dried seaweed, kimchi pickles, and rooibos tea.

And: Soba noodles with wasabi tsuyu dipping sauce and green onion, a fried pork cutlet bowl with sweet red miso sauce and cabbage, and green tea.

If You Have Any Problem Please Tell Me the Staff

I am not amused.

Over the weekend I took a trip to Hiroshima to hear from an atomic bomb survivor. Her name is Matsubara Miyoko. Her story is long and very graphic, but it was worth a listen. There are only about 20 survivors who are willing to speak to the public, so it was a nice opportunity. I'll spare you the details as it's very disturbing. If, however, you're interested, there are videos of her account readily available on the internet. Simply Google "Miyoko Matsubara." She is mostly deaf from the bomb, so her English is very difficult to understand.

After a heavy morning, we all took the ferry to Miyajima where we ran into more stinky beggar asshole deer like in Nara. The place is really famous for its sunsets, so naturally it got really cloudy right as we got there. The whole island closes at 5:00, so we took the ferry back and ate Hiroshimayaki. It's essentially Okonomiyaki with soba or udon. Mine had natto and, as the menu said, 'onions and ginger on them tops.' We then went to a hostel where a naked man with a one inch booger hanging out of his nose asked me personal questions while I brushed my teeth. The next morning my friend found blood stains on his sheets. Hostels are fantastic! Picz.

Also: 6 for 32, but two were Jehovah's Witnesses who proselytized during the photo...

And: Women from Hiroshima seem to really like tall American guys.

And: Fried chicken, fried pork cutlet, sweet potato tempura, inaka miso soup with white radish, rice, a salad made from flowers, and steamed vegetables. In your face.

And: Okonomiyaki with soba and natto topped with ginger, green onion, seaweed flakes, and crushed red pepper.

And: Curry rice, minced fish croquette with soy and white ginger, kimchi pickles, and miso soup with eggs and green onion.

And: A fish with a sweet sauce whose fins are delicious (Maybe mackerel? My host family called the spine a "bone cookie"), rice, soup, and flower salad.

And: Fish egg spaghetti, creamy potato soup with ham, and steamed broccoli. It tasted like tomato cream sauce. What the what?

Cheesecake with breakfast, Smash Bros., and Japanese girls. I love this damn country.

My Monday schedule sucks. I have 4 hours to kill after lunch. As it turns out, you eat when you're bored. You eat a lot. Like half a box of wafer chocolates, obanyaki, a stick of HiChew fruit chews, and 2 donuts. So, a friend and I set off in a random direction to see what would happen. Here are some pictures of what we found. Oh, and a cleaning lady at the gym walked in on me in the shower.

Moral: When someone asks "is anyone in there?" don't worry about responding in the same language.

Also: 4 for 29.

And: Beef ramen with baked cheese onigiri and a salad with pickled cherry blossoms.

And: Fried rice topped with an omelet, miso soup with mushrooms, and a side of fruit.

And: Creamy pork stew with rice and Texas toast.

And: Steamed broccoli is amazing with mayonnaise and soy sauce. What the hell, Japan?

Nara 2: Return of Nara Returns

On Saturday I took a field trip to Nara. This time no deer bites. I wanted to keep this post short, but I couldn't take pictures in maybe 80% of the places we visited, so I have to say a few things. In short, awesome sculptures. Also, the Imperial residence thing next to Chuguji temple is, if I understood correctly, only open to the public for a few months around the time of restorations. We got there 1 minute before it closed. The tour guide said the next time it will be open to the public will be in 2210. Adorable Japanese men sleeping on a train on the jump.

Also: 4 for 27.

And: Crab and oyster nabe, kanimiso, chicken and vegetables, sweet and spicy slaw, and "Japanese risotto" (the remaining broth from the finished nabe is boiled with rice and egg to finish the meal).

And: Yakisoba with pepper and ponzu, and egg soup.

It's a symbol of what?

Today I got to go to Asuka, an area south of Nara, to view some burial mounds, temples, demon toilets, and phalli. 20 or so of us took the train from Tambabashi to Asuka and then rented bicycles to white up the Japanese country side. Great scenery, yakisoba, and dirty looks from old people. As usual, every one declined to be photographed. Pictures.

Also: Soba, udon, 3 types of tempura, tsuyu with daikon and green onion, and salad.

And: Burger patties with a sweet mushroom and pepper sauce, egg soup, tako salad with sweet mustard and ponzu shoyu, slaw, rice, toasted rice tea, and melon bread. I'm starting to gain weight here.

And: 4 for 23 on old lady pictures.

I have never before wanted to punch a doe in the head.

On Tuesday I went to Nara with two adorable Japanese guides (the best way to travel, even outside Japan). We went to see the big Buddha, got bit by a bunch of deer, went to a famous mochi place, and an excellent udon restaurant. Pictures right here (kind of a big album, sorry).

Also: Deer are assholes. They will bite you, tear at your clothes, chase little kids, and stink up a national treasure out of spite. In Chinese folklore, deer were servants of the devil, joyfully spreading famine and misfortune by day, and eating children in front of their parents by night. I read that in a textbook.

And: Yakisoba, creamy potato soup, homegrown veggies, and English tea. Once again, in your faces.

And: Yesterday I was awakened a bit early by my very first earthquake. I promptly went back to sleep.

Konnichiwa, bitches.

Original, right? I thought of it myself.

More stuff from Sunday. After sushi, we tromped around Nanba and saw all the shops. The whole area is like a giant outdoor mall. It's insane. After a few hours, we went to a Mexican restaurant. You know, just to say we did. Despite having spaghetti sauce on it, my burrito was excellent. To make it even sweeter, there was a Thai man playing songs who perfectly (no joke) imitated 3 Doors Down, James Taylor, and several other American artists. After that, I was presented with a birthday cake on which I broke a tooth. Fun, fun, fun. Linky.

Also: The Japanese say Mekeeshko for Mexico. Mexicans? Mekeeshko-people, of course.

Moral: If an item is advertised as edible, it's barely edible.

美味しそう！

Sunday was my birthday and I went to what we were told was the largest aquarium in all of Japan. It was a very impressive place. The highlight, perhaps, was all of the Japanese people saying, "That looks delicious" in front of the various tanks. Naturally, we went out for sushi afterward. Pics.

Also: Kaitenzushi is dangerous.

Host Mom Food

Just a quickie. Er... anyways... Some new ladies and some delicious Collon candy. They have chocolate flavor, but I thought that was a bit gratutitous. Enjoy.

Also:　I am now 4 for 19 on the pictures.

And: Tonight's dinner was seared, rare tuna with onions and ponzu shoyu, bean salad, miso soup, dumpling soup, a side of rice, koicha matcha, and cinnamon cake.

And: Last night was thinly sliced crispy pork on a bed of caramelized onions, steamed vegetables, miso soup with egg and daikon, and a side of rice.

And: The night before was Japanese curry rice with potatoes, carrots and beef, and English tea.

And: The night before that was tonkatsu with rice, miso soup, steamed vegetables, and warm sake.

And: In all y'all faces.

Day Off

Today was a holiday. I couldn't tell you which, but we had today off. Last night we went to a little Mom and Pop restaurant that had outrageous portions for like 500 or 600 yen. I got a huge plate of pork cutlet curry for 400 yen. It was great. Today, most people just chilled, but I went with a friend to Takayama for a hike. It was pretty damn awesome. Then I found maybe the greatest hair salon known to man and took a picture of the sign. You'll have to see it to believe it. Almost too good to be true. Pictures.

Takoyaki Party

On Sunday I went to a Takoyaki party at a friend's new apartment. 11 people and maybe 300 sq. feet. They taught us how to make the octopus dumplings and then we played Smash Bros. for 64. It was awesome. I thought I could hold my own, foolishly forgetting that all Japanese people can innately kick ass at Smash Bros. I then got destroyed by several girls and a guy using Jigglypuff. Once I got the hang of it again I started being a huge asshole, as was my strategy when I played a lot. I just fly around with Ness, infuriatingly difficult to hit, occasionally picking off someone who is highly damaged. After a couple of very cheap wins, they countered Ness with Kirby and slapped my face off my face. Anyways, pictures of surprisingly delicious octopus treats on right here.

Moral: Don't ever play Smash Bros with the Japanese or you'll end up crying into your natto.

Also: Nattoyaki. Try some.

And: I also got killed in Puyo-puyo, Mario Kart, and Goldeneye.

Osaka Trip

Went to Osaka yesterday. It was pretty incredible. I guess the city is about 2 or 3 million, but it surges to 4 million during the day. Most people wanted to shop, but a group of a few finally split off to go sight seeing. We went to a giant Ferris wheel on top of a building and Osakajo park. There's a restored or rebuilt Japanese castle there as well as a European style castle built in the 1930s. Unfortunately, everything was closed, but I think I got some decent pictures anyway.

Also: Every old person I talked to declined to be in a picture. Looks like this won't work. I'm a very sad little guy.

Kyoto Trip

There was a school organized trip to Kyoto yesterday. We went to a temple built in the 1300s. It was pretty amazing, but I think my pictures failed to capture the size of it. Just imagine it being very large. Later we went to an extremely expensive buffet and a giant ass mall. Pictures mixed in with the arrival shots.

Also: Japanese fortunes are never good.

And: Old people seem to greatly dislike foreigners.

Some Pictures and Some Bad News.

I've got some pictures here that were taken over the past few days. Some were taken during the trip to Japan, others on the way to Hirakata city. However, it seems that elderly Japanese people don't want to be in pictures with gangly, large-eared Americans and politely decline when asked. I had a feeling some might decline, but not every single one. So, it looks like this whole concept is bung. However, I did get some pictures.

How We Do it, Dun.

They say that the hardest part of learning a foreign language is gathering the courage to speak it. To help me bust out of my shell and build up the courage to speak to the people of Japan, my family took me to an authentic dinner at Benihana. Our chef, Armando, dazzled us with his dexterity and showmanship. I also got a nice picture with a delightful Japanese woman named Mingmei. The picture turned out OK, but I think they'll work out better if I ask someone to take the picture for me while I'm in Japan. I hope they know how to use cameras.

Also: My incredibly sensitive cousin suggested I take pictures with overweight individuals rather than old ladies. He thought it should be called 'Slant Eyed Fatties'. We're a classy bunch.

And: Buy a shirt from me.

Damn you, Bethesda.

I once vowed never to have a blog, but I'm taking a trip to Japan and I thought I'd share my pictures. So, I'm starting one. I'm trying out the photo posting feature of this silly weblog thing now. The plan is to have some posts featuring different things I like about Japan such as, bizarre inventions, Japanese cuisine, terrifying candy, and spunky octogenarians. It's tentatively titled 'Japanese Old Ladies of Japan'. It'd be nice to publish a coffee table book when I get back.

Also:　すみません小母さん、私と一緒に写真に入って下さい。

And: 'To Live and Die in L.A.' is the worst film ever made. Bar none. No argument. Not an opinion.